Tomorrow my "Barn Vacation" is over. I have to go out there to give Jimmy his Adequan IM. I forgot Tuesday I was supposed to & when my phone reminder went off at 6PM I was elbow-deep in making marinara and meatballs....literally ;-)
I'm kind of dreading going back out there. The day I trail rode him (last Thursday), he felt okay, but when I put him in the round pen, he looked significantly lame. I also showed the videos I posted on here last week of him trotting to Dr. John - who said "Yeah. He is still really lame." I have stared at my lame horse so long I don't remember what it looks like when he's sound.
Funny thing is, I can judge a hack and pick the tiniest bit of lameness out on every horse in the class in a few seconds flat. I can't on my own horse. That's kind of why I decided to take this break, so I can come back refreshed and rejuvenated. So yes, I am dreading going back out there to see him because I know when I see him he will look at me with those big beautiful bright eyes and my heart will melt and I will say "It's okay Jimmy, Mama will always love you."...which is true. But more than anything I just want to ride my own horse again. And jump.
I don't feel refreshed or rejuvenated. I feel terrified that I'll go out and watch a lame horse gimp around, for the millionth time. My heart hurts.
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